For years I have dreamed of becoming a leader in the church, to do great things for God and extend his Kingdom. Last year the pastors in my church approached and asked me if I was willing to take the next step and be a leader.
I took the offer but little did I know I actually had second thoughts of becoming a leader in the church. I had a lot of flaws and saw myself as incapable of leading other people. I do not love people wholeheartedly, I really dislike doing administration and planning for the church or life group, comparing myself to other leaders I feel that I am so far behind. I feel like dropping everything and just go back to being a regular member serving in the church.
I don't know, the feeling is weird because I did not have this kind of feeling before I became a leader, I was more passionate, had plannings for the group/church and dreaming with God but now it seems that I just don't want anything to do with this even though I know the calling God has for me. I think it's lack of confidence and all the negative thoughts that just get in my head.
Those are just my ramblings but if anyone who knows anything about being in leadership or has anything experience please feel free to share, your comments will be greatly appreciated :)
13 comments:
I like your blog alot :)
Well, man, here's the Christianese version: The devil targets the people who have the ability to hinder his goals. With everyone else, Satan's got his loyal groupies who cause discord and make life difficult, but when you've got real talent and gumption and resolve, Lucifer targets you himself. And he doesn't break out the petty stuff like roadblocks and rainstorms: he instills doubt and makes you question your own God-given talent.
Here's the other side of things (not quite Christianese, but not quite Devil's Advocate either): Maybe you shouldn't be in leadership. There's plenty of room for support wherever you go, and honestly man, not everyone was meant to be at the head of the pack. Consider this, though: not a single President - as overrated a role as it may be - came into that position by his own two hands.
Here's the truth of my circumstance: I did the Christian thing for years and bought into it wholeheartedly. I no longer do. I believe God exists, I believe Christ is the only way to heaven, and I believe I will be in heaven post-death, but until that time, I don't believe God gives a shit about his creation. That being said, the type of Christian you are presently and the leader you have it in you to become should be plainly evident based on the advice I gave you earlier and what you will now choose to do with it (if anything).
Let me know if you have any questions.
thanks man, after these few weeks I realized you are right on the point that the Devil just wants to stop you and put lies in your head. I don;t think I have a God-given talent but I do know that when God has called you He will equip you. However one thing I have learnt about myself is that I was living like this because disillusionment and discouragement because of failures and such. However I do know God is in the business of restoration even after trying to run away for so long, God does care about his people, His love is Furious and strong and I pray you will experience that too :)
Hi Jason, I can so relate to your comments about the emotional ups and downs of doing "leadership" in the church. I'd never read your blog before; just was looking at my own (mlff.blogspot) and hit "next blog." I am encouraged to hear someone else articulate some of what I've been feeling as we're transitioning from an "easy-going" leadership team to a hungry-for-change one...complicated, but thank you for sharing your heart!
hey:) Jason Lee.......just wanted to say i love your bloggs:)) ummm u shuld like comment on 1 uv mi stats so we can chat:))
Hey Jason,
Just stumbled across your blog after publising mine a moment ago. I just want to tell you something my Pastor has always told us...new level new devil. So when you said you didn't feel that before you became a leader that explains it you are on a new level. So don't give up on what you belive God has for you to do just take your eyes off of man and focus on God. See Jesus in everything you do. Not in your might but in His. Ask God to help you to see people through His eyes and not your own. And draw on HIs grace continually never lose sight of that and stay prayed up edifying yourself in the Holy Spirit. God knows our flaws but He promised that He would perfect Himself in us until the day of HIs coming. So it is a day to day process. I think all God wants to know is are you willing and if you are just cast the care on Him and allow HIs grace to lead you into the Leader He knows you can be. God Bless You and keep the Faith!
I can sympathize with you. I usually work with the kids and young people in our church and I have been giving a few Bible studies lately and so then this year, the church asked me to be in charge of outreach...I feel so unqualified. The nice thing, though, is that we have a small church. I have struggled with fear for a long time and God is bringing me out of it one painful step at a time...OUCH!!! I have doubted and felt like it was too big for me and like I just wanted to quit and hide under my covers, but I really do think this is God's next step for me. I was asked to help lead our prayer-meetings and again, I panicked because I just have this fear issue. But I've been leading out in a small group in my home for a couple of years and love doing that. so this is stretching me because it's up front...out of my comfort zone. A couple of years ago I wouldn't have even considered this, but God has been leading me little by little toward this. Do you see God leading you little by little toward this new area of ministry in your life? If so, try it. When you use your gifts for the Lord, He can grow them. If this isn't for you after all, it'll become obvious to you after awhile. One thing I think of with myself and you is that God likes a humble instrument, because He would get the glory.
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